A wedding planning rant

I almost hate to blog about wedding planning, because I hate that it's such a big ordeal. Before getting engaged, it was easy to laugh at people who spent 25k on a wedding. And while, ok, I can still laugh (that is seriously a LOT of money), I can see now how truly crazy the wedding industry is. Well-meaning, even thrifty people constantly ask me questions about my colors, my decorations, my traditions, my veil, my dress, my favors, my guest list. It's not about the groom, or the marriage. Or at least, it's easy to make it not be about the groom or the marriage. It's about me! And my special day! And my dress!

I don't really go in for all that, but it's easy to fall down the slippery slope. "We want a small ceremony with just our immediate family and best friends" turns into "well, we should have a party, too" which turns into 100+ guests who have dietary restrictions, and expectations, and who wonder why so-and-so wasn't invited. We want to skip Save the Dates, but damn it, we're throwing a party and I DO want people to save the date! I don't want to do invitations with multiple little envelopes and eighteen little pieces of paper, but somehow we have to tell people about hotels and directions, and how to RSVP. We don't want to bother with seating assignments and escort cards, but what about the guests who don't know anyone? How will the caterer serve people with dietary restrictions?

It's really easy to get wrapped up in all these dumb little details, which really shouldn't even matter but somehow have to be addressed. It doesn't help that for every website about modern, nontraditional brides, there are eighteen Weddingbee blogs and hundreds of forums pushing a materialistic wedding industry (if you want to be really horrified, check out the Weddingbee forums). And yes, I'm supposed to enjoy the planning and it's supposed to be fun, but I also work full time and have other non-wedding life events in my life that also take up a lot of brainspace. The wedding just can't be our number one priority most of the time.

We have the big stuff done (thank goodness, because August is getting closer and closer) but we still have to work on the finishing touches: dessert, decorations, music (just an iPod playlist), lawn games, and alcohol. We had a bit of an issue with our venue canceling on us, but they offered a similar property that's even better in some ways. I've got a vague outline for the ceremony in mind, but Geoff and I have to sit down and finalize what we really want to include. I'm really the most excited about the ceremony. Since we decided not to do a church ceremony, we have a lot of freedom to make every part of the service meaningful to us. We can literally have control over every word that is spoken- and as a person brought up Catholic, that idea is totally new to me.

I don't think wedding planning would be my thing even in the best of times, but it's even harder without my mom to help me stay excited and keep me sane.That's a whole separate, emotional post for another day. Luckily my bridesmaids (two college friends and my cousin) and other family members (big thanks to special aunties, my dad's wife, and Geoff's mom) have been really helpful and excited on my/our  behalf. There's been shared Pinterest boards, lots of emails back and forth, and a really fun shopping weekend where all the girls found a dress- including me! And the more it comes together, the more I'm excited about having an awesome celebration for the start of our marriage.